Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
