I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Best friends brother. Beat that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
