It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
