How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
