You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
