i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
