Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
