I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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