her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
