If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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