Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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