Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
