So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
