Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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