I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
