My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
