There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
