What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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