Just fell off a train. Bad.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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