it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
