He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i love accidental penises.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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