is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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