I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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