Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize