i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Vodka?
Forever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
