I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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