What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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