if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we're making bets on your personal life
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
