Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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