Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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