id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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