Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
