I want to make a zoo with you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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