I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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