What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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