I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
