He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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