EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
