Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
