As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize