Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
