He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
