Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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