you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
