I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
