It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
