We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is wine microwaveable?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
