I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
