I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
