i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
