Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize