nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
