do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
