i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize