If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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