She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize